grass widow
nounUK /ˈɡɹɑːs ˌwɪdəʊ/
Etymology
The word appears in the Germanic languages in different forms and senses, evidently being ancient, but the oldest (both 16th century) are English grasse wydowe and Middle Low German grasswēdewe, both meaning “girl who has lost her virginity, harlot”. Therefore “grass” in all likelihood refers to a bedding for premarital sex. Compare the expression green gown (“loss of virginity”). The girl became a “widow” in the sense that she was neither married nor a virgin. The sense then developed through “married woman who has relations in her husband’s absence” to the contemporary, softened meaning. Compare Dutch grasweduwe, Swedish gräsänka, German Strohwitwe. Etymonline cites the book Vocabulary of East Anglia (1830) by Rev. Robert Forby, which records the term in that region as essentially referring to a woman abandoned after an informal marriage.
A married woman whose spouse is away.
- "Can't help it. I'm a lone, lorn grass-widow, dear, but I will not sleep in my stays."1889, Rudyard Kipling, “A Second-rate Woman”, in Under the Deodars, Boston: The Greenock Press, published 1899, page 115:
- Then Mrs. Gessler shook her head. "Well, you've joined the biggest army on earth. You're the great American institution that never gets mentioned on Fourth of July -- a grass widow with two small children to support. The dirty bastards."1941, James M. Cain, Mildred Pierce, New York: Random House:
2 more examples
- And who ever heard of a demon sending his wife a divorce? When a demon marries a daughter of mortals,he usually lets her remain a grass widow.Isaac Bashevis Singer, translated by Marian Magid and Elizabeth Pollet Collected stories : Gimpel the fool to The letter writer: Gimpel the fool & other stories, The Spinoza of Market Street, Short Friday & other stories, The séance & other stories, "Yentl the Yeshiva Boy", New York : Library of America : Distributed in the United States by Penguin Putnam, p. 461
- I was disappointed when it was her who opened the door and said, ‘Ah, I had a feeling you were thinking about me! Come in, come in, do! I am a grass widow.’1974, GB Edwards, The Book of Ebenezer Le Page, New York, published 2007, page 226:
Obsolete An unmarried woman who has had premarital sexual relations; a former mistress.
- Derived terms
- grass-widowed, grass widower, grass widowhood